#5 Screenwriter: Dialogue
- My dialogue was described as on the nose, I had to research the expression, here is the best definition; Writing on the nose is a screenwriting term that refers to dialogue or action in which the character’s innermost thoughts and feelings are fully expressed by what the character is saying or doing. There is no nuance, mystery, ambiguity or surprise (as there is in real life).
An example of tight authentic dialogue from The Bourne Ultimatum by Tony Gilroy et al:
INT. CRI HUB – DAY
TWO NEW TECHS plus the three we met before. All watching VOSEN lead LANDY and CRONIN into the room.
WILLS
This is Pamela Landy. She’s gonna be quarterbacking our search effort. I think what we oughta do, just to get started, let’s go around the room, say who you are and what your spec is.
LANDY stepping in before this gets going —
LANDY
Let’s do names later.
(she’s got the floor)
What’s Bourne’s last fixed position?
(impatient)
Anybody.
INT. CRI HUB – DAY
TWO NEW TECHS plus the three we met before. All watching VOSEN lead LANDY and CRONIN into the room.
WILLS
This is Pamela Landy. She’s gonna be quarterbacking our search effort. I think what we oughta do, just to get started, let’s go around the room, say who you are and what your spec is.
LANDY stepping in before this gets going —
LANDY
Let’s do names later.
(she’s got the floor)
What’s Bourne’s last fixed position?
(impatient)
Anybody.
-
TECH#3
London. Twelve hundred Zulu. -
LANDY
Status? Wounded? Armed? -
TECH#2
Alive. Mobile. Unknown. -
LANDY
Where are your grids coming from? -
TECH#1
NSA Tactical. -
LANDY
You have an Echelon package? -
TECH#1
Yes. -
LANDY
Why isn’t it on?
TECH#1
We were waiting. -
LANDY
For what?
(no takers)
You’re nine hours behind the toughest target you’ve ever tracked. I want everyone to sit down, strap in, and turn on all you’ve got.
(beat)
That would mean now.
That lights it. They’re moving.
LANDY (CONT’D)
Thank you.
VOSEN watches…
LANDY (CONT’D)
I want everything you’ve got on Ross on screen one.
LANDY watches as the screen lights up with ROSS information…
Yeah It’s good isn’t it! you might even remember the scene.
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